Okay, back to the actual point of this blog: my crockpot adventures! And boy do I have a doozy of a story. Monday night I was filled with excitement and inspiration and decided to make my very first batch of crockpot chili. A seemingly excellent idea, no? Ha. Man, was I wrong. Very very wrong.
But I digress.
The Plan: (1) Brown the ground beef, chop all the vegetables & add all of the canned goods to the ceramic pot Monday night; (2) Place pot in the fridge overnight; (3) Remove pot from fridge and set on counter before leaving for the gym before work Tuesday morning (don't want to "shock the pot" temperature-wise); and (4) Put in crockpot heating basin before leaving for work and cook on LOW for 10 hours. The End Goal: a beautifully slow cooked and delicious meal of beef chili ready for my eager consumption by the time I got home from work Tuesday night.
Unfortunately, not all went as planned. I mean, I have to admit that I'm still a bit perplexed. When I came home at lunch to let the dogs out, the house smelled awesome. In anticipation of a delicious meal, I pulled the top off and tasted a tiny bit of the chili. (I know that goes against the cardinal "open the oven door/crockpot lid before you're done cooking and you'll ruin the food" rule, but I couldn't help myself! It smelled so good!) The chili looked good but was a little bland. So I added a little more chili powder and some salt, and went back to work. When I got home around 6 pm, I was psyched -- it was like I walked in the door and the amazing aroma wafting from my crockpot was calling to me -- "Dinner's ready, dear! Come and get it!"
Well, come and get it I did. And come and get it I now wish I didn't. YUCK. The chili was a little bitter, a little bland, and - well - tasted nothing like it smelled. I'm starting to think the smell was a figment of my imagination, planted in my mind to torture me for something. I really don't understand it. It looked fabulous! It smelled fabulous! It was warm and bubbly, the perfect consistency and temperature, perfectly cooked . . . or so I thought. Ugh. Such a disaster!
To my credit, I followed The Plan to a T. To the recipe's credit, I did not follow the recipe to a T. I didn't stray much, though, and -- call it stubborn pride (no idea where I get that from, DAD) -- I find it hard to believe that what I did change could have ruined the recipe. Regardless, I wanted to post the recipe so that anyone reading this who so wished would know what recipe NEVER TO FOLLOW, EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD, NO MATTER WHAT. Consider yourself warned!
Ingredients:2 lbs ground beef
2 16-oz cans of kidney beans, rinsed & drained
2 14.5-oz cans of diced tomatoes, undrained
1 8-oz can of tomato sauce
2 medium onions, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tablespoons of chili powder
2 teaspoons of salt
1 teaspoon of pepper
Shredded cheddar cheese & sour cream (as a garnish)
In a skillet, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Transfer to the crockpot. Add the next 9 ingredients. Cover and cook on LOW for 8 to 10 hours or on HIGH for 4 hours. Garnish individual servings with cheese and sour cream if desired.
I repeat -- DO NOT USE THIS RECIPE. Here's what I changed. Some of the reviews said to add celery. I did not do so. (This is chili, not a soup. Why would I need 2/3 of the ingredients in a mirepoix? Riddle me this.) I also added half of a beer -- some of the best lager in the world: Yuengling. I let the pot -- with all of the ingredients inside -- sit overnight before cooking it the next day (in accordance with The Plan). That's it; that is the extent of my changes. And it was GROSS.
For what it's worth, if I were to improve upon this recipe, I would add less beef, a jalapeno pepper, a little more salt, a full beer, and less (if any) tomato sauce. I would also maybe add a little hot sauce and/or a pinch of red pepper flakes. But I won't be using this recipe again, so we probably don't have to worry about that.
So, the lesson learned is . . . sometimes crockpot chili recipes suck. When I get back on the crockpot chili horse, I will be sure to ask around for good recipes first. Till then . . . no chili for me!
Next up: crockpot pancakes and crockpot rice krispie treats. YUM!
**Got a request for a crockpot creation? Post a comment or e-mail me and I'll do my best to try it out and get some results up ASAP!
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